How To Leave a Whatsapp Group (That You Have Been Forced To Be In) Without Anyone Knowing That You Have Left:

  • You feel like you are meeting up with friends without actually having to meet up with friends
  • Writing the title of the group chat is such a fun part of the WhatsApp experience that brings everyone an immense amount joy.
  • Everyone is competing to be the wittiest. WhatsApp makes people seem about 45% funnier that they are in real life.
  • The Whatsapp Voice Note. It’s like a voicemail but you actually listen to it.
  • The Banter. Not to sound like a contestant on ‘First Dates’ but I am all about the ‘bantz’
  • It is possible that one is a member of too many WhatsApp groups. For example, Like many women I’m a member of 12 WhatsApp groups all with the word ‘brunch’ in the title. (HELP.)
  • Most people’s mums are now capable of using WhatsApp
  • Read Receipts. Blue ticks on Twitter = GOOD Blue Ticks on Whatsapp = Bad
  • Most of the ‘bantz’ involves finding a date that you are all free to meet up, which is most of the time near impossible and when you do set a date, I shit you not, 9 times out of 10, most people will cancel. Leaving you back to Square 1, finding another date to meet up which inevitably will not happen due to Corona Virus and/or tubes not running or someone being hideously hungover (which by the way is the only viable excuse).
  • ‘is typing…..’ fills you with impending fear.
  • Archive the Chat.
  • Mute it.
  • Disable it.
  • Put on airplane mode.
  • Flush your phone down the toilet.



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Zahra Barri

Zahra Barri


> Egyptian/Irish Stand Up, raised in Saudi > Follow for funny takes on Feminism, Islam & her pop culture > Comedy Novel Runner Up Comedy Women in Print 2020